VortexDragon36

Well I WAS gonna draw, dammit. My god this is the worst college semester I've ever had, not because the class is inherently hard, but because my teacher doesn't know how to... you know, teach 'n stuff. Geez it's a simple computer class and yet I had an easier time taking Microbiology! I'm still gonna catch up and draw for the people waiting. And get a new damn reference alkhflkshksf.

Man dA has changed while I was gone. I wouldn't be surprised if every watcher I had up and left their account, probably for tumblr. Bah.

Well I WAS gonna draw, dammit. My god this is the worst college semester I've ever had, not because the class is inherently hard, but because my teacher doesn't know how to... you know, teach 'n stuff. Geez it's a simple computer class and yet I had an easier time taking Microbiology! I'm still gonna catch up and draw for the people waiting. And get a new damn reference alkhflkshksf.

Man dA has changed while I was gone. I wouldn't be surprised if every watcher I had up and left their account, probably for tumblr. Bah.

... and think "wtf was I thinking?" rofl. Omg I'm gonna die. XDDD;; I just took a look at all the art I had (in storage or otherwise) on dA and OMG. And holy shit the cheesy names don't help. I haven't seen these in YEARS and it's so bloody embarrassing to look at akfhlksflas. But at the same time, it shows my learning curves, and I don't want to be ashamed of my art just because I did it years ago. That's the whole thing... I did it years ago. I am and was learning. I'm tired of freaking out just because I think my art sucked so hard it could make a black hole, rofl.

I want a sense of humor, I don't want to take art too seriously and be uptight about it. I've seen far too many of my favorite artists do that and go downhill. They rip all their art down, regardless of how many people thought it was amazing, and then their own unique style starts to disappear... and they may eventually stop posting their art. It's sad.

I also don't want to cut myself down about my art anymore. Geez, like thinking my art sucks is gonna make me magically draw better. It just makes me want to draw less, therefore I don't practice and learn.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to practice more and upload more art if my health stays relatively stable. I may not have improved *too* much since my last drawing, but I haven't been drawing hardly at ALL in YEARS. I'm surprised I've improved at all. That itself is impressive, considering what I've been through. I've also become a little more ambitious and found a few new techniques I'd like to try.

Anyway, I think the best thing you can do for yourself and for the people who enjoy your art, is to keep up even what you think is old, ugly, and ridiculous. Because it really, really encourages people, you know? To see that their favorite artists were amateurs once, and that they had to learn, just like the rest of us. Not everything you post needs to be portfolio grade, especially on a large, fun, community site like deviantART.

Just a thought.

P.S. Figures I'd start posting more on deviantART AFTER my subscription runs out. *mumblegrumble* >.>

-Pepper

I have been drawing again. Not as much as I used to, but it's a start. I finally feel capable of finishing my art trades and requests, albeit slowly. The only problem I have now is a few of the people I had on my list are gone from dA now, and difficult to find. Hm. I'll deal with it as it comes.

The saddest thing of all is I actually did have sketches done for most of my art trades, I just never... finished them. Coloring isn't my strong suit. Oh well. Now some of you will have extra sketches, lol. I've improved, so I'm not sure if I'll use the old ones anymore. I'm going to aim for getting them done in the next couple weeks.

I don't even know how many remember they have an art trade with me, lol. We'll see.

Augh. It's been aaaaaaaggesss. But I did what I could at this time in my life. I hope you all are well.

-Pepper

I really don't know what to say here. Nothing has changed since my last journal. Nothing. I REALLY FREAKING MISS DRAWING. FFFFFFFFFF***.

Though I still stalk around on dA once in awhile, my ability to draw has not come back. I try to stay lighthearted, but it's killing me. I want to finish everyone's trades and requests and I just want to be able to draw for myself again. It's been three years. THREE years. God I miss deviantART. I'm just too sick to draw anymore, physically and mentally. I've been sick a total of SIX years. Only a very few of you, if any, possibly remember my older journals about my illness. I've gotten both better, in a manner of speaking, and worse.

I don't speak enough to people, I tend to keep to myself. My god that's not very fun. So, I shall post a bit more just for the hell of it, and to get out some stress.

On a lighter note, I've come across another treatment option that might help me (though I've tried dozens). Let's see if it works.